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| The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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26-03-2005, 10:23 AM
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i like to be stroked
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: between her legs
Posts: 1,926
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Subject: $h1t Happens
Taoism: If you understand $h1t....it isn't $h1t Hinduism: This $h1t happened before Confucianism: Confucius say $h1t happens Buddhism: $h1t will happen to you again Zen: What is the sound of $h1t happening? Islam: If $h1t happens, it is the will of Allah Sikhism: Leave our $h1t alone Jehovah Witness: knock knock $h1t happens Atheism: I don't believe this $h1t Agnosticism: can you prove that $h1t happens? Protestantism: $h1t happens amen to that Judaism: why does $h1t always happen to us? Orthodox Judaism: so $h1t happens already Televangelism: send money or $h1t will happen Rastafarianism: let's smoke this $h1t Hare Krishna: $h1t happens rama rama Nation of Islam: don't take no $h1t New Age: visualize $h1t happening Shintoism: you inherit the $h1t of your ancestors Hedonism: I love it when $h1t happens Capitalism: this is MY $h1t Feminism: men are $h1t Existentialism: what is $h1t anyway? Baptism: we will wash the $h1t off of you Mysticism: this is really weird $h1t VooDoo: $h1t doesn't happen, we make it happen Disneyism: bad $h1t doesn't happen here Wicca: you can make $h1t happen but $h1t will happen to you three times over Surrealism: fish happens Tantrism: fu__ this $h1t Statistician: $h1t is 84.7% likely to happen Environmentalism: $h1t is biodegradable Fatalism: oh, $h1t is going to happen Vegetarianism: if it $h1ts, don't eat it Materialism: whoever dies with the most $h1t wins Family Gathering: relatives are $h1t Einstein: $h1t is relative Politically Correct: internally processed, nutritionally drained biological output happens Dog: I just $h1t on your shoe Cat: oh $h1t, dogs are $h1t Mouse: oh $h1t, a cat Acupuncturist: hold still or this will hurt like $h1t Lawyers: for enough money I can get you out of this $h1t Freud: $h1t is a phallic symbol Descartes: I $h1t therefore I am Shakesperean: to $h1t or not to $h1t that is the question Trekism: to $h1t where no man has $h1t before Optimism: this $h1t won't happen to me Suicidal: I've had enough of this $h1t Amish: modern $h1t is useless Darwinism: survival of the $h1ttist Psycho analysis: tell me about your $h1t Conspiricy theory: they $h1t on us Marxism: you have nothing to lose but your $h1t Communism: let's share this $h1t
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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn...that was fun!" |
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26-03-2005, 10:25 AM
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#2 | ||
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i like to be stroked
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: between her legs
Posts: 1,926
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Bartenders were surveyed and asked if they could possibly identify personalities based on what drinks were ordered. The results were compiled and here are the results: FOR WOMEN: Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low maintenance, down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Frosty drinks with an umbrella. Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and generally a pain in the ***. Approach: Avoid her unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed drinks-no umbrellas. Personality: Mature, has picky tastes, knows what she wants. Approach: If she wants you she’ll send YOU a drink. Drink: Wine (Bottled-not the stuff in a box.) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and bring up designer clothing and Paris in conversation. Drink: Wine Cooler Personality: Easy, thinks she’s trendy and sophisticated, actually has no clue… Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is… and you’re in. Drink: Shots (Vodka, Gin, Etc.) Personality: Hanging out with her boy-pals or looking to get drunk… and naked. Approach: Easiest hit in the place. Nothing to do but wait. MEN-As always, very simple & clear-cut. Drink: Coke-He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid. Drink: Cheap domestic beer- He’s poor, a student or both and wants to get laid. Drink: Premium, local micro-brew-He likes good beer and wants to get laid. Drink: Imported beer-He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid. Drink: Guinness-The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another. Drink: Wine-He’s hoping the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid. Drink: Vodka-Extremely horny, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid. Drink: Whisky-He doesn’t give two sh!ts about anything and will hit anyone who gets in the way of getting laid. Drink: Jack Daniels-Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, but knows enough about feminine activities (knitting, crochet, etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid. Drink: Tequila-**** off ****ers, I’m gonna shag something with a pulse! Drink: Wine Cooler-Gay (blatently) Recognize anyone??
__________________
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn...that was fun!" |
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26-03-2005, 10:27 AM
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#3 | ||
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i like to be stroked
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: between her legs
Posts: 1,926
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__________________
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn...that was fun!" |
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26-03-2005, 02:25 PM
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#4 | ||
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Ford Fanatic
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 326
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Surrealism: fish happens
lmao, i liked that |
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friday funnies pt2
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