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Old 06-08-2010, 09:53 AM   #1
Fled74
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Default Surgery Nerves

Sorry, just need to vent...
Long story short, my 12-week-old daughter has two holes in her heart. Unfortunately it's not one of those procedures that can be done through a catheter; she needs open-heart surgery, which will be done next week.
We know she will be in excellent hands, but the mere thought of her being cut open just frightens my wife and I.

Has anyone here had a similar experience, and if so how did you deal with it? Sometimes I feel as if I'll be crushed under the weight of it.

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Old 06-08-2010, 11:12 AM   #2
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Friends of my family have a daughter who is now the same age as me ,Fled. (I am now 50), she had open heart surgery when she was 15 or so I think for exactly the same thing.
Obviously the age difference is huge, but no larger than the time between then and now and the associated advances in medicine/ surgery in that time. I have gone under the knife many times and feel your anxiety, but take comfort in this country having medical people second to none anywhere.Good luck and I am sure all will go well.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:37 AM   #3
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it is a tough time as a parent i know

the surgery is routine for the docs at rch

my youngest had to have bowel surgery at the age of 9 days and you wouldnt even know now

if you need to vent here feel free to or pm me

you have quite a few people here that can help with the nerves

hope all goes well

they do a great job there so dont stress

Jason
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:46 AM   #4
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mate, vent away. Hope it all goes well
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:55 AM   #5
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Thanks guys. Everyone tells me that RCH are very very good, and I believe them. It's just a parent thing. My 4-year-old has no idea what's gonna happen, all she knows is that her baby sister is going to hospital.
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Old 06-08-2010, 12:04 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fled74
Thanks guys. Everyone tells me that RCH are very very good, and I believe them. It's just a parent thing. My 4-year-old has no idea what's gonna happen, all she knows is that her baby sister is going to hospital.
and keep it that way

you dont need her to be stressed as well

Jason
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Old 06-08-2010, 12:20 PM   #7
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True. She'll be staying with one of my wife's good friends, who has 3 young kids as well.
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Old 06-08-2010, 12:26 PM   #8
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our other 2 only knew thomas had to see a doctor for a few days

ended up being nearly a month but was all good

I would say rch melb is the best place for the surgery to happen

Jason
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:20 AM   #9
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An update:
We spent 10 hours (8am-6pm) at RCH yesterday watching our baby girl go through a battery of pre-admission tests. Actual surgery will be in two weeks.
We also spoke to the surgeon last night - he described exactly what he would be doing. He's obviously done the procedure many, many times, and his confidence was contagious. I was listening to his every word, and my wife was paying attention to his hands. "Rock-steady, pianist's hands" as she described them later.

Nothing will overcome the worry that we as parents go through, but we're more confident now that we were last week.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:26 AM   #10
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Mate that would be such a hard thing to deal with, but yeah IMO the less she knows the better unless she starts asking questions. Even then id try and keep it simple.

Good luck to you and your family, like above, they are among the best in the world so your in good hands.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:32 AM   #11
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Hope she has a speedy recovery and shes back home in no time.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:40 AM   #12
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Thanks guys.
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Old 10-08-2010, 12:02 PM   #13
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My niece went through the same surgery 10 years ago. her recovery was fantastic, and her energy levels after the operation went through the roof. She was just under 3 when she had it.

The younger they are, the faster they recover.

All the best with the operation.
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Old 10-08-2010, 12:16 PM   #14
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Hey Chris, I don't have anything to add, other than to wish you and your family all the best.
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Old 10-08-2010, 12:36 PM   #15
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Wishing you and your family especially your little girl all the best. Hope she recovers very quick and all goes super well
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Old 10-08-2010, 12:48 PM   #16
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Thoughts are with you, and I'm sure that she will do well.

Be strong for your family, especially your wife.

And know that if you need to talk and vent, there are many other fathers on here waiting to listen.
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:26 PM   #17
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All the best mate, I'm sure it will all go well

if you need anything there are good people on here willing to help you in whatever way they can
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Old 10-08-2010, 01:42 PM   #18
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Again, I must say thanks to everyone for sharing your stories and for the awesome show of support.
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Old 10-08-2010, 02:06 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fled74
Nothing will overcome the worry that we as parents go through,
and that is only because you care.

sending warm and fuzzy feelings to you and your wife
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Old 10-08-2010, 04:23 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fled74
An update:
We spent 10 hours (8am-6pm) at RCH yesterday watching our baby girl go through a battery of pre-admission tests. Actual surgery will be in two weeks.
We also spoke to the surgeon last night - he described exactly what he would be doing. He's obviously done the procedure many, many times, and his confidence was contagious.
I was listening to his every word, and my wife was paying attention to his hands. "Rock-steady, pianist's hands" as she described them later.

Nothing will overcome the worry that we as parents go through,.
iwill start with the redbit i have done

he may have done it many a time but i look at it this way

If he wasnt a good doc he wouldnt be at the rch

now the black part

good to see what they are like before your baby has the op done from them ( we didnt get the chance ) it was he has a prob we need to have him at rch asap good news that you have the time

if you want to see a few pics of when thomas was in rch i can either post them here or e-mail them to you

here is a pic of him taken on the 15th march this year


hope this helps

and as i have said dont hesitate to contact me

Jason
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Old 10-08-2010, 05:29 PM   #21
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Mate I can tell you it will be fine. I was born in 83 with transposition of the great vessels (ateries were connected on wrong sides), a hole in my heart. Over time I also developed an anurism in my aorta and both my valves leak (although my left was replaced in 95 and 99) my right valve is still being monitored every year. In my day I was about the 3rd succesfull switch operation, nowadays they do it all the time. I have part of my aorta made from a dakron (spelling) graft due to the anurism which got so large before my last op they had to use my femoral artery to pump blood before they opened me just incase they nicked the anurism on the way in. What I am getting at is I still live a normal life. The surgeons could probably do the ops with their eyes closed and technology is 100x better than when I had my ops. I still have to have ops for the rest of my life, I may even need a pacemaker because the ops have caused electrical signal problems. Anyway you have nothing to worry about, just do lots of research and listen to the doc/surgeon. If you want any more info just p.m me.
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Old 11-08-2010, 06:05 PM   #22
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Good looking kid, Jason.

I let my wife read this thread and she was amazed and overwhelmed by all the positive support.
I can't say it enough: thanks everybody.
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Old 11-08-2010, 06:33 PM   #23
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hopefully all goes well all the best
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Old 11-08-2010, 06:36 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fled74
Good looking kid, Jason.

I let my wife read this thread and she was amazed and overwhelmed by all the positive support.
I can't say it enough: thanks everybody.
thanks mate

if you want i can pm my phone # and if you guys need to chat you can give me a call 24/7 i know i would have loved it when thomas was in rch

Jason
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Old 11-08-2010, 08:20 PM   #25
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Managing your emotions is the hardest thing. I am on the other side of dr-patient equation and have seen what can be done. Rest assured, EVERYTHING will be done to make sure it goes well.
Good luck for you and your family
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Old 11-08-2010, 08:24 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fled74
Sorry, just need to vent...
Long story short, my 12-week-old daughter has two holes in her heart. Unfortunately it's not one of those procedures that can be done through a catheter; she needs open-heart surgery, which will be done next week.
We know she will be in excellent hands, but the mere thought of her being cut open just frightens my wife and I.

Has anyone here had a similar experience, and if so how did you deal with it? Sometimes I feel as if I'll be crushed under the weight of it.
My sister in law's son was born with very similar problems, he was 4 when he had the same operation done. He has spent more time of his life so far in hospital than most people ever will.

It's a horrible, horrible thing to have to watch someone in your family, especially so young, have to go through, but if anything, take comfort in the fact that we live in a world where these sorts of things can be done, instead of only being found when it's far too late.

All the very best with it.
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Old 11-08-2010, 11:20 PM   #27
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My little one had a kidney disease, so has therefore spent some long stints at RCH. I can not speakmore highly of not just the doctors (who are amoung the most capable in the world), but also the many support staff you will meet there afterwards (nurses etc). You'll also find amazing support from the many other parents within your ward that have just experianced the same thing, so don't hesitate to open up, you'll find that many are more than willing to lend an ear.

Good luck mate, I'm sure your neves are wrecked, bu you'll all come out on top!
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Old 11-08-2010, 11:50 PM   #28
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Mate, I really hope the procedure goes well for your daughter. It must be very stressful, I truly wish you and your family my best wishes and support during this time. As has been said, this forum is a wealth of helpful people. If you want to pm me and have a chat, vent, whatever, I'm always here to talk to. Just reading about one so young getting an op like this, makes me worry like hell. As I said, my best wishes, and I like many others, are here if you need us.
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Old 23-08-2010, 06:50 PM   #29
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A little update:

Little Christa is just getting over a cold, so RCH chose to push the surgery back till next week rather than risk a chest infection. The anaesthesiologist is confident that her heart condition is not time-critical.

Watching her feeding well and gaining weight, we agree that postponing the op is the best course of action. She's developing well and is thriving despite her condition. My mother-in-law arrived last week from overseas and will be staying with us to help with our 4-year-old (who adores her Nanna).

Again, I'd like to express my thanks to everyone who offered their support in this thread and via PM. Your words and shared experiences have bolstered our confidence, and my wife and I can't thank you guys (and gals) enough.
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Old 04-09-2010, 08:32 PM   #30
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OK, another update:
My daughter's surgery was supposed to be done yesterday morning, but was pushed back till next Tuesday. Another child needed a heart transplant - they'd been waiting for a donor for a while and one became available that morning.

It's good in a way that the docs are comfortable with postponing Christa's operation, because she's not really "critical". She's feeding well and steadily putting on weight and exhibits none of the signs associated with her heart condition.

Still, the sooner it's done, the better.
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