Please Magically Fix my Car

[Crazy Dazz]

Hi, I'm new here and my car is broken.

I would like you to fix it using the magic of the internet.

Obviously I am not going to tell you what type of car it is, or what's wrong with it, that's where the magic part comes in.
Nor can you derive any clue from the location of my post, since naturally I have done my best to put it in the least relevant forum.

I have either checked everything, or checked nothing. (See Schrödinger's Cat for more explanation.)

Please don't suggest any tests, because obviously they won't work.
Again, magic is the key here.

Please don't bore me with explanations.
I have no interest in learning about my car, nor even the most basic concepts of mechanics and/or physics. However I am more than happy to complain about any professionals who attempt to help me.

I am extremely angry about this. My car is only 20 years old so this is clear evidence that all cars are **** and I should be entitled to compensation.
If you cannot magically fix my car I am going to run it over with a tank.

[sgt_doofey]

Just hit it on the headlight and go "Eeeyyyyyyyyyy" like the Fonz, then it should be all good to go again!

[wodahs]

you missed a line

Originally Posted by Crazy Dazz

Hi, I'm new here and my car is broken.

I would like you to fix it using the magic of the internet.

mechanic has quoted me (probably around the $100 to $200 mark) a billion times too much as (even tho I don't know what why or how) I believe the required fix to be well under the 1c mark so why is he trying to rip me off hence I need to repair it with your (the forums) help

Originally Posted by Crazy Dazz

Obviously I am not going to tell you what type of car it is, or what's wrong with it, that's where the magic part comes in.
Nor can you derive any clue from the location of my post, since naturally I have done my best to put it in the least relevant forum.

I have either checked everything, or checked nothing. (See Schrödinger's Cat for more explanation.)

Please don't suggest any tests, because obviously they won't work.
Again, magic is the key here.

Please don't bore me with explanations.
I have no interest in learning about my car, nor even the most basic concepts of mechanics and/or physics. However I am more than happy to complain about any professionals who attempt to help me.

I am extremely angry about this. My car is only 20 years old so this is clear evidence that all cars are **** and I should be entitled to compensation.
If you cannot magically fix my car I am going to run it over with a tank.

and being a thread of this nature the spelling and wording should be all over the shop as much as the actual ability of the thread making any sence

[JC]

Originally Posted by Crazy Dazz

Hi, I'm new here and my car is broken.

I would like you to fix it using the magic of the internet.

Obviously I am not going to tell you what type of car it is, or what's wrong with it, that's where the magic part comes in.
Nor can you derive any clue from the location of my post, since naturally I have done my best to put it in the least relevant forum.

I have either checked everything, or checked nothing. (See Schrödinger's Cat for more explanation.)

Please don't suggest any tests, because obviously they won't work.
Again, magic is the key here.

Please don't bore me with explanations.
I have no interest in learning about my car, nor even the most basic concepts of mechanics and/or physics. However I am more than happy to complain about any professionals who attempt to help me.

I am extremely angry about this. My car is only 20 years old so this is clear evidence that all cars are **** and I should be entitled to compensation.
If you cannot magically fix my car I am going to run it over with a tank.

Bored?

[Crazy Dazz]

Originally Posted by wodahs

you missed a line

No I didn't.
If you had even bothered to read my post, you would firstly know that I am much smarter than you, secondly that I know everything,
and besides you would have magically read anything that I neglected to include.

[superyob]

Crazy Dazz, correkt punktuation and speeling is unasseptible. Yo pute an apostrofe in the goodest place so you must no somehow bout c7rs...

[superyob]

Originally Posted by JC

Bored?

No, but I think Crazy Dazz might be...

[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by Crazy Dazz

Hi, I'm new here and my car is broken.

I would like you to fix it using the magic of the internet.

Obviously I am not going to tell you what type of car it is, or what's wrong with it, that's where the magic part comes in.
Nor can you derive any clue from the location of my post, since naturally I have done my best to put it in the least relevant forum.

I have either checked everything, or checked nothing. (See Schrödinger's Cat for more explanation.)

Please don't suggest any tests, because obviously they won't work.
Again, magic is the key here.

Please don't bore me with explanations.
I have no interest in learning about my car, nor even the most basic concepts of mechanics and/or physics. However I am more than happy to complain about any professionals who attempt to help me.

I am extremely angry about this. My car is only 20 years old so this is clear evidence that all cars are **** and I should be entitled to compensation.
If you cannot magically fix my car I am going to run it over with a tank.

I get this on a daily basis.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Ok, what have I missed?

[wodahs]

not much just a few bored blokes doing very little today (including me)

[Work Horse]

If you guys have nothing to add can you stop with the off topic posts?

My car is broken too and I'm hopeful some of the magic will come my way. I'm positive I have the same problem as the OP.

[.:4:.]

Its probably a case that needs lateral thinking. Shame it's not mains powered or run through a data network, because those are my profession. Maybe (on the illicit side) try some acid or shrooms and sit in a stationary car, and it will drive (to you atleast) like the day it was delivered. It might be a case of finding a competent mechanic, surely they aren't too hard to find.

[Crazy Dazz]

Originally Posted by Big Damo

I get this on a daily basis.

I don't think I could do your job.
I can only imagine the customers you must get:
"My car don't go, I have no idea what's wrong with it, I expect you to spend hours figuring that out and do it for free. Once you have figured out which part needs replacing, I'll happily pay for the part, but only if you fix it today, and I'll only pay the price of a dodgy eBay part from China.
Oh, and your free coffee sucks, and you need some better magazines."

[Cav]

Sell your broken car to me.

This will solve your problem of owning a broken car.

QED

Cav

[wodahs]

Originally Posted by Work Horse

If you guys have nothing to add can you stop with the off topic posts?

My car is broken too and I'm hopeful some of the magic will come my way. I'm positive I have the same problem as the OP.

have you checked the air in the spare tyre , generally if the ambiance temp of the humidity in the glove box mixes with the positivity of the negative flow of the radiator hoses in the boot well of the car 3 houses away arnt aliened with the posties return addresses your problem will be 31

[Work Horse]

Originally Posted by wodahs

have you checked the air in the spare tyre , generally if the ambiance temp of the humidity in the glove box mixes with the positivity of the negative flow of the radiator hoses in the boot well of the car 3 houses away arnt aliened with the posties return addresses your problem will be 31

Yes it was like the first thing I checked

Sorry to the OP for the high jack.

[Madaya]

Yeah, of course, the air pressure in my spare is a bit low. With ya's bros. Perhaps we should be given a shot of esp then all would be well.

[Russ]

I was expecting this was another post by Hulk but .....

[Top_Ghia]

Just tip it on its side. With motorbikes it fixes just about everything.

[Pinkbits]

Originally Posted by Russ

I was expecting this was another post by Hulk but .....

Same result though!