My son is going for his learners. I'm worried!

FRDGAL · 24-08-2007, 12:21 AM

Well I knew this day was coming and the nerves are on stand-by lol. I'd like to hear from other parents here who have had to prepare for their child/children getting into a car and onto our roads. I admit, I'm scared. Now I know EXACTLY how my parents felt when my sister and I started driving.

The one thing that settles my nerves is that my son is not a rev-head which is surprising. He's grown up around fast cars all his life. His father and I have built a couple and ofcourse there's all the work I've done to my AU. He has seen my passion for my car, for mods, for the track etc yet he's not into it lol. I'm surprised but kind of glad because I atleast know he won't be a hero or a hoon because he just isn't into proving anything or being an idiot to impress. He's a very quiet child generally and I guess that eases my worries but still, I'm worried lol.

Fellow AFF parents ... how did you deal with your concerns, if any?

Krissy.

Van D · 24-08-2007, 12:55 AM

Well what do you know, I thought you were of the male persuasion until I got to the "father and I bit" and started to get confused.. That'll teach me for not reading properly.

DOC · 24-08-2007, 12:57 AM

We just went though this with our daughter, you right re the worry but you need to also find that point where you let them go.

I suppose what we done was put a culture in place ( at the start ) that was low pressure in that we never forced anything and let it happen more natural, but she now scoots of to and from work etc on her own with full licence.

I suppose every parent worries ( that cares anyway ).

FRDGAL · 24-08-2007, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Van D

Well what do you know, I thought you were of the male persuasion until I got to the "father and I bit" and started to get confused.. That'll teach me for not reading properly

Lol no worries mate.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DOC

I suppose what we done was put a culture in place ( at the start ) that was low pressure in that we never forced anything and let it happen more natural

The way I approached this when he turned 16 last year was to let him be. Everyone around us kept asking "When is Anthony going for his learners" and I kept saying well, when he's ready, and so did he. He's now 17. He just felt he wasn't ready and wasn't going to be pressured into anything by anyone, and I give him credit for that. Ofcourse I was happy with his decision to wait because it eased my worries ... well, for a while lol.

Lol I was just thinking, if this is how I'm reacting over his learners, may aswell start looking for the mental hospital I'll need to be in when he goes for his licence! Arrgghhh why is this so hard.

And I should say, my concerns are not about him possibly doing any damage to my car - cars can be fixed and I'm fully insured anyway. I'm worried for him. We spend our lives protecting our children from danger and harm in this world. I know it probably seems like I'm over-reacting but I won't apologise for that. I love my kids and have visciously protected them their whole lives. How do I protect my son from idiots on the road?! Should have thought of this before I had kids lol.

TEaaron · 24-08-2007, 02:04 AM

I got my learners about 18 months ago. I bought a car 3 days after I got them for $1500 about 4 months after I started my apprenticeship.

mum would never let me drive her car and still doesn't lol.

This is probably the best thing I could've done, learnt alot about cars from it and didn't have the stress in my mind that if i crashed it i'd be in major trouble.

I'm on my 3rd car now and going for my P's next month with easily over 500 hours of driving expirance.

So should look at buying your son a car possibly? nothing too flash just somthing to learn in.

XCSEDAN · 24-08-2007, 08:23 AM

stress less

just taking him to a nice big parking lot and let him drive around, he'll pick it up, then drive on your street, then the roads

i got my L's 3 days after i turned 16, n got my P's on my 18th bday (yesterday).

he'll be sweet

and i agree, your going to go crazy when he gets his license!

:

XWGT · 24-08-2007, 09:11 AM

Our 16 year old got his learners 2 months ago, and I have not driven the car on a weekend since. He is very calm and controlled, and I make sure that I keep the fundamentals at the forefront of his mind.

Lots of quiet calm advice, clear instructions given in plenty of time, and one wary eye on every other road nutter out there.

All will go fine

devilcv8 · 24-08-2007, 12:57 PM

What I've done with both my kids and their L's is let them drive anywhere and everywhere we went and basically let them get comfortable driving. They didn't even attempt a reverse park, 3 point turn or anything until they had been driving for many hours. Then they had 4 lessons with the local driving school (in a manual) and both passed first go. They each had over 150 hours of driving in all conditions and on all road types.

Tuddy200 · 24-08-2007, 01:55 PM

Personally after only getting my Ps 1.5 years ago, I'd see what kind of interest he has in doing a driving course would be. I'm not saying a defensive driving course just yet, but a course which deals with spoting potional hazards, how different road surfaces feel, and about how cars drive eg. where the weight when braking etc.

My driving instructor taught me on our local roads and that was all fine, but we never touched a country road, or gravel road, or an icey/wet road which gave me no skills or experience on them. I'd say an introduction course that covers the basics of good driving techiques then maybe when he is comfortable with within the car on the local roads then maybe defensive driving course then as much driving in any conditions.

For someone who isn't into cars as much as you FRDGAL I would have said more driving lessons with a driving instructor because I don't see how parents/friends etc passing on bad habits or incorrect information to the learner is any good.

I got the feeling your like my parents when I was on my learners they weren't worried about my speeding or hooning more the fact that you don't have control of the vechicle and with all the idiots on the roads you don't know if he'll be able to handle it and may end up hurting himself and you.

Whenever I see a learner I always slow down just think back to when I was doing my driving and think what annoyed me most about other drivers, and for me it was mostly about them coming flying up and sit right behind you and it's imtimdating for a learner and you stop thinkin clearly.

I heard a good tip back in high school, whenever your driving and he is in the car, as much as that may be, then get him to pick up on all your faults as a driver or things you could have done differently (not saying your a bad driver, but we have our habits!) and this will get him to question an experience that he might not get while he is driving with you beside him, but when by himself. He'll think, oh my mother done that, and it wasn't legel/safe/apporiate etc.

I'm sure you'll pass on many great things, but it comes down to communication in the end and my parents stressed so much that go angry at times, or didn't pass on all the things I should have been told about a certain intersection we just went through, or what that sign means etc etc.

photn · 24-08-2007, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FRDGAL_AU6

Lol no worries mate.

The way I approached this when he turned 16 last year was to let him be. Everyone around us kept asking "When is Anthony going for his learners" and I kept saying well, when he's ready, and so did he. He's now 17. He just felt he wasn't ready and wasn't going to be pressured into anything by anyone, and I give him credit for that. Ofcourse I was happy with his decision to wait because it eased my worries ... well, for a while lol.

Lol I was just thinking, if this is how I'm reacting over his learners, may aswell start looking for the mental hospital I'll need to be in when he goes for his licence! Arrgghhh why is this so hard.

And I should say, my concerns are not about him possibly doing any damage to my car - cars can be fixed and I'm fully insured anyway. I'm worried for him. We spend our lives protecting our children from danger and harm in this world. I know it probably seems like I'm over-reacting but I won't apologise for that. I love my kids and have visciously protected them their whole lives. How do I protect my son from idiots on the road?! Should have thought of this before I had kids lol.

My parents where the same. i was head strong and confident, but i never took driving for granted or as a right. my parents are always worried about me and im now 20years old, i owm my own car and am employed full time. but i always get a msg asking me where i am at night.

The best thing you can do is Communication. If your son tells you where he is going and who with then it shows he trusts you and feels comfortable telling you he is going out with his mates and what not. that way, at least you will know who he is with, where he is going, and when he will be back. it will be some releif for you. But im guessing your the same as my mum, who always worried about me no matter where i was.

For that, my only advice is it will take time. its not easy as i observed from my mother. as i said, communication is the key!. communicate with him, and it will be alot easier and both your levels of trust will grow, and the amount you worry will deminish.

You will also have to learn that you cannot protect your kids from everything. Thats just life. If you baby them too much, then they wont be able to handle things in the Future. My parents respect me when i make mistakes and accept that its part of the learning curve. For example. 1month ago i rolled my car due to inexperience. My parents did not blow up one bit, they simply accepted what had happened, and when they saw i was okay they relaxed a bit. sure i had just written off my dads car, but the level of trust is still there and i have learned valuable information and experience from the event. If your children dont experience having accidents when they are learning, then they wont know how to react when they get older. And the best way to deal with idiots believe it or not, is to let them experience them First hand. The driving course will help alot, but experience is the Key!

Hope that helps you.

jcxr · 24-08-2007, 02:25 PM

Krissy,as a dad whos son has now been officially on the road now for 12months, im glad all those lessons are behind him. Its still a big learning curve and will continue for many years to come, but make sure they get LOTS of "L" time.

superpursuit83 · 24-08-2007, 02:34 PM

My daughter is 14, and a rev head. (might be my fault) I have been thinking about her driving in a couple of years.

I decided to teach her soon in the auto, then in my ute with manual. I plan on teaching her respect for the power of our vehicles and respect for the road. I will also have her enrolled in every driver/ advanced drivercourse I can find. Then when she gets her license I will put her ina Hyundi..... (Or something slow)

And I think thats about all I can do... except worry about my "Little Girl"

jaydee · 24-08-2007, 02:35 PM

My young bloke comes up for his Ls at the end of the year but he sounds a bit like your young bloke Krissy, pretty level headed and sensible, but I'm still a bit concerned.

The best advise is to tell him to watch out for and keep away from Commodore P plate drivers.

Seriously, I'm not just having a go because this is a Ford Forum and we take the out out of Commodores, but you just have to see them on the road, especially in the wet, it's always P plate Commodore drivers, they're drop kicks.

S3SR · 24-08-2007, 07:54 PM

im no parent, but if hes not that into cars.. then theres less to worry about

NOW... as a teen myself.. only had P's for 2 years.... i have done some really REALLY stupid stuff in a my time... but ive learnt to never do it again even the second time around...

only thing i will say is DO NOT spend all your money on a car..... get an old school version thats in good nic and learn to maintain it...if it blows up or he writes it off it wont matter that much

best thing you can do is just cheer him on, teach him well.....and dont pressure him too much, he will still do it, because its human nature, and the best learning experience is the wrong decisions

good luck

aye you · 24-08-2007, 08:10 PM

lol my mum was the same, then i started to learn how to fly. she still gets nervous whenever i take her up for a flight

LPGUTE · 24-08-2007, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaydee

Seriously, I'm not just having a go because this is a Ford Forum and we take the out out of Commodores, but you just have to see them on the road, especially in the wet, it's always P plate Commodore drivers, they're drop kicks.

it not just p plate commodore driver i was driving home from school a while back and this commodore was turning right...i was in the left lane and this old man cut into my lane. this was one of the scary moment in my time as L's driver.

**aussiblue** · 24-08-2007, 11:27 PM

I have two sons on L's at the moment and they both drive OK and we're over the nervous part (first few lesson in a vacant industrial development) in terms of how they drive. I taught my wife to drive years ago and that was harder - at least my sons listen and do as they are told.

The biggest problems and stressor with teaching my sons has been the other idiots who do totally stupid and dangerous things when they see L plates. Dangerous and stupid responses like pull out from stop and give-way signs, do 90 degree turns from the other side of the road across our car's oncoming path, illegally pass on the left tail gate and blast their horn etc even though my sons are at the point where they relatively capable drivers and are traveling at the legal maximum speed.

I guess these idiots are helping prepare them for the idiots they are going to encounter on their Ps but there have been some near misses and there have been times where my instinct (under contral thank god) has been telling me to get out of the car and thump somebody. It has been a mix of smart P Platers and much older drivers of both sexes involved in these dangerous actions so I don't know what the motivation is.

V3RSAC3 · 25-08-2007, 01:40 AM

i wouldn't be worried about him getting his L's ... i'd be shitting himself for when he gets his P's!!!

MotherNatureVer2 · 25-08-2007, 07:24 PM

My eldest is going for his P's. I think I am lucky in a way the I havent had to do anything with his 'L' as he is up in QLD ......... He still rings me though & I talk him through senarios he has come across.

I know he has failed one of his tests but I think that was my fault. He has been driving on the farm since he was 10 & can handle trucks as well. He failed as he used his mirrors to reverse and didnt look over his shoulder enough ......... He said he did that because the Holden he was driving (one of the new ones ... a SV6(his d***head fathers) has the worse blind spots he has ever driven with and it was easier to see thinking he was driving a truck ......

ELtim · 25-08-2007, 09:29 PM

Give your son the important tip a member of the Ford Forums gave me.

"Assume everybody else on the road is retard".

I haven't had a problem on the road since.

Ford_V8 · 26-08-2007, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ELtim

Give your son the important tip a member of the Ford Forums gave me.

"Assume everybody else on the road is retard".

I haven't had a problem on the road since.

That's definitely the best piece of advice I've heard so far. The way I think when I'm driving is (on my Ls btw) "What is the stupidest thing driver a and b could do?" then just assume that they will do it at any time. That has saved me countless times, the most common would probably be cars turning at roundabouts without indicating.

FRDGAL · 26-08-2007, 08:38 PM

Sorry for not replying to your posts everyone. I haven't had time to sit infront of the computer. Thankyou so much to everyone for your tips and advice. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all taking the time to help me deal with the stress of this.

I've been speaking to friends and family and that's calmed me and I must say after reading all your posts, I'm feeling even more relaxed. I also spoke to my son about my concerns and his reply was "the only time you need to worry Mum is if I buy a Commodore, then you can skitz and stress as much as you want" LOL I'll kill him the bugger! But seriously, we had a good chat and he let me know that he too is nervous ... but anyway, it's all good now.

The plan is to pass the test first ofcourse and I've spoken to Chixy (fellow AFF member) who's put me intouch with a friend of hers that's a driving instructor. He's going to have a few lessons with her to get himself comfortable then I'm going to let him drive mine. This way we'll both be at ease. Thanks again guys & girls!

Krissy

FRDGAL · 12-09-2007, 02:08 PM

An update on how it went. My son did the test last Wednesday but failed. He scored 66% so we re-booked the test for today. He had the week to study his handbook again then took the test this morning and aced it! He got a score of 100%. He did good!

Pinkbits · 12-09-2007, 03:49 PM

Send him out with Kev for a lesson!

**killerjoolz** · 12-09-2007, 05:08 PM

I'm upto 3rd and last daughter having her learners( she's had them since April)and I can tell you even after having 2 go before her I still get a bit jumpy when out driving with her,there's no need for me to be like it though as she is a great driver,although I don't and won't let her drive my car....lol...her sister just gave her her old one,an EL Fairmont,used to be mine,so will feel better her being in a safe car when she gets her P's....lol

FRDGAL · 12-09-2007, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinkbits

Send him out with Kev for a lesson!

Oh hell no! LOL.

Quote:

Originally Posted by killerjoolz

I don't and won't let her drive my car....lol...her sister just gave her her old one,an EL Fairmont,used to be mine,so will feel better her being in a safe car when she gets her P's....lol

My car is the only one we have so I have to let him drive it. I don't want to lol but I don't have a choice. But I'm not letting him into it just yet. He's booked in to start lessons next week. After say 4976215 lessons or so LOL he can drive mine.

Fantome · 12-09-2007, 09:12 PM

I have 2 teenage boys that are both on 'P' plates, and from about 5 years old they have been driving go-karts (a small, low-powered kart built to suit a 5 yr old) so by the time they got their 'L's they had plenty of experience in handling a vehicle but no experience driving on the roads and dealing with traffic and road rules. One drives with a reasonable amount of caution and the other is an out and out hoon. The careful one still has a car to drive but the hoon damaged his car and has now been walking for the last 5 months. Hopefully, experience will teach him that if he wants to have a decent car, he needs to look after it by not doing burnouts and donuts etc. Since he now has to replace the car that he wrecked maybe the hip pocket will cause him to be more careful. You can't treat them like babies all their life and they will learn from experience.