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Old 16-02-2005, 09:53 AM   #1
*rayman*
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Default NO SEX TONIGHT - Funny

No sex tonight?



I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ

so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I

have never figured out why men think with their head and women with

their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.

"She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,

"That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticiipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a Baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
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Old 16-02-2005, 09:59 AM   #2
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:dr_Evil:
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Old 16-02-2005, 10:11 AM   #3
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hahaha nice, must try that
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Old 16-02-2005, 10:36 AM   #4
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Was funny the first couple of times...

:
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Old 16-02-2005, 11:26 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB
Was funny the first couple of times...

:
most re-posted joke/story ever?

...was funny the first time though...

-Stu
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Old 16-02-2005, 12:43 PM   #6
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hahaha good one
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Old 16-02-2005, 04:11 PM   #7
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old !!!!!

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Old 16-02-2005, 06:43 PM   #8
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Wasn't this posted last week? :
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Old 16-02-2005, 06:52 PM   #9
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i've never seen it.....but that is fantastic!

i'll have to give that a go sometime :dr_Evil:
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Old 16-02-2005, 08:12 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feathers
Wasn't this posted last week? :
I think it was reposted last week :
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Old 16-02-2005, 08:44 PM   #11
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and that repost last week was a repost off the "old planet"
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Old 16-02-2005, 08:46 PM   #12
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I only got to "hold me"...
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Old 16-02-2005, 09:34 PM   #13
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What every married man would love to do. But is just too damn SCARED of DYING.
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Old 17-02-2005, 02:14 AM   #14
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I'd try it. Just don't have the time to do all that shopping in the first place.
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