Well Officer my reason for speeding was???

[Itsme]

Originally Posted by Bushbasher

I'm not going to give you a transcript of the conversation but I was nothing but respectful and courteous the whole time, even when he made it obvious he wasn't going to cut me any slack, not even 1km. I didn't try to wriggle out of it with BS sob stories etc. He asked me if I worked or was on the dole and I told him the truth, but only after he asked. I'm a house husband these days and my missus brings in the cash, such as it is. It made no difference to his attitude and he made it obvious he didn't give a chit and was enjoying sticking it to me in front of my missus and kids, but like I said, I was courteous, right up till he started pontificating and lecturing me, so yes I gave him a serve. I wasn't going put put up with some self important toss pot 20yrs my junior lecturing me like I'm some naive teenager. I'll show you every respect and courtesy in the world right up till you dis me or make it obvious you're just having a go because you can, then I'll give it back.

If you want respect you have to give respect, I don't care if you're wearing a uniform or not.

I can see where you are coming from, there is some righteous Bastards but then again you just got to cop the fine if you fit the crime.
We all know these days most fines are revenue raisers.

[marty351]

Cop giving lectures... throwing stones in glass houses.
When I watch a police show, you often hear the police person reving the guts out of the car to catch up to someone for not using an indicator.
Double standards?

[99AUXR]

I was driving the other day on a back road. And traveling 120km/h in a 100km/h zone. Spotted the cop way off in the distance so I just started slowing down. As he approached I stopped on the side of the road and he stopped on the other side. Wound down the windows and he just said keep the speed down and have a good day. So I did all the way home.

I think warnings are more effective because if he had of ticketed me I would have thought **** him and sped all the way home. However some people need not even a ticket/warning will help.

[XR8_km]

Originally Posted by Nikked

Sorry officer, hit VTEC.

Yo....

[cuz]

Last time I was pulled over and asked for the reason I was speeding, I answered:
If I give you an excuse that you haven't heard before, will you let me off?
She just laughed and said, no way!
To which I replied, well sorry officer, I'm not going go waste a good excuse on you then! I'll save it for next time I'm I trouble with the missus.
She laughed again, quickly checked the rego and walked round the wagon, warned me to watch my speed and let me go!
I was amazed.
Like above have said, no point making a big deal out of it you were speeding in the 1st place to get pulled over, so why make it worse and maybe dig a hole for yourself.

[eb2fairmont]

Sorry officer just was in a hurry to see my friend with benefits, whats ya mums address..

[Uncle Niceguy]

hows the saying go again?.... thats right "Treat others as you expect to be treated" always works well for me.

[xr8territory]

I have been pulled over more times then I can remember, but I know I have been let off more often then being booked. I am always polite, dont be a smartbum, act remorseful and mention the fact that I am a 'Health Professional who services the needs of rural and remote communities' etc etc.
Doesnt always work but I have received a warning for 142kmh, pulled up for 57kmh over and booked for just 17 over and most times had the fine reduced to the lowest penalty.

[tut0r]

Originally Posted by trublu

I can see where you are coming from, there is some righteous Bastards but then again you just got to cop the fine if you fit the crime.
We all know these days most fines are revenue raisers.

Yep love it when they give you a lecture...Had that happen once and I just accepted it, self righteous is a damn understatement, downright arrogant more like it.

[SB076]

Officer: I have been waiting here for you all day
Person: Well I got here as fast as I could

Officer: Any reason why I clocked you at 150k's back there?
Person: I had to slow down to take the corner

They are all old ones, I just be polite, be surprised how many times you get a warning rather than a ticket

[SB076]

Originally Posted by marty351

Cop giving lectures... throwing stones in glass houses.
When I watch a police show, you often hear the police person reving the guts out of the car to catch up to someone for not using an indicator.
Double standards?

Lot of the sounds you hear are added in after - COPS is a classic example, lot of tyre squeal, but on a dirt road.

[castellan]

My Brother got pulled up one day back in 1984 by a highway bike cop in town as he seen the big wheels on the old XB 351 ute, she had 12 slots and 8's on the front and 10's on the rear on the good old 265 T/A's all round.

Cop spun out about it all and gave him a ticket.

So old bro took off and being p ed off touched the gas a bit to much it's an auto and spun the wheels a bit.

Old plod chased after him, pulled him up and went off at him.

Bro said come off it ! it's a 351 and she just spun a bit by accident.

Plod said he was fair dinkum and that he had been driving 351's before he was born.

Bro said must of been f--- gut less 351's then.

Plod went right off the rocker and want to lock him up !

Bro was really angry and thought he would give the cop a demonstration of a real intentional burnout, but thought not as it would all end up in a punch up and him being locked up and thought best not.

He should of just cut loose after the first time, at least he would of had some satisfaction about it today, thinking back he says.

[superpursuit83]

My copper mate still says a original excuse will get you a warning...

My last one was on the way from Albany to Perth:

Copper "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Me "Ahh, by the time I reacted to my detector and saw you maybe 118"
Copper "Close 116, any reason?"
Me "The V8's start in 2 hours on the TV, was trying to catch the start"
Copper "Love those V8's, Drive safely and slow down"

[ford71V8]

Originally Posted by xr8territory

I have been pulled over more times then I can remember, but I know I have been let off more often then being booked. I am always polite, dont be a smartbum, act remorseful and mention the fact that I am a 'Health Professional who services the needs of rural and remote communities' etc etc.
Doesnt always work but I have received a warning for 142kmh, pulled up for 57kmh over and booked for just 17 over and most times had the fine reduced to the lowest penalty.

???

[Franco Cozzo]

^ They should be booked for crimes against fashion

[MercurySilver]

why do they bother asking?
they know the speed you were doing
they have your licence number and know if the cars registered in your name

but still they come and ask for the licence (they know its in date as theyve already checked on their pc)
then ask you if its your car
um, you know its my car
you know what speed i was doing
so either hand out the appropriate fine or leave me alone please

or you could be like the crows player and say he was distracted by a vomitting car in his backseat when he was pulled over doing 96 in a 60 zone
goes to court and gets off

just shows you how the 'system' works huh

[xr8territory]

Originally Posted by ford71V8

image

???

I swear I wasnt wearing Spandex - now that would have gotten me locked up!

[stevethepom]

I just tell em i am on the way to work and don't want to be late ,then when they ask what job I do I tell them I am a Rectum stretcher ! of course they ask what the hell is one of them ? and I go on to explain in detail how i grease my thumbs and insert them and start stretching gradually stretching until its about 6ft across .then they usually ask "and just what do you do with a 6ft A***hole ? to which I reply "stick a uniform on them and send em out to raise revenue!"

[steve.zissou]

comedy is usually your best bet.

I am not going to give away my secrets - like you say, they need to be original - but the last one was:
cop:do you know why i pulled you over?
me: jealousy
cop: what?
me: well i figure your jealous because i get to drive around in a ford all-day and your stuck in a crappy holden

must have snagged a Ford lover because that got me off.

I have a couple I would love to try but not game to (rather have a better chance of getting let off).

I have a print out of a US dep. transport study that shows slow drivers are more dangerous than faster drivers - although arguing that point will probably get me nowhere.

If i ever got caught doing a burnout I was always going to say " i though cops liked doughnuts"

leave a mr fusion on the back seat and then tell him i was trying to hit 88mph because i need to get back to 1885 and save the DOC

Complain about how cops always profile the middle aged white guy

but here are some golden ones from http://www.policeone.com/police/comm...-for-speeding/

A drunk guy told me he was pregnant then urinated all over himself claiming his water broke. — Bryan Turner

http://ems.pgpic.com/2.gifI stopped a girl with all the Goth black stuff on herself and little figurines on her dash. I asked what is all this stuff. She said," I'm a Wicka." I said "A what?" She goes "You know, a witch." I said "Oh yeah." Then she asks "are you giving me a ticket"? I said "yes, I am." She said "I'll put a spell on you. I told her "too late. My ex-wife beat you to it." — Dave Simpson

http://ems.pgpic.com/3.gifDRIVER: My buddy, who is police officer, is gonna kill me!
OFFICER: Who is your buddy?
DRIVER: David Pollino!
OFFICER: Ohhhh, you know Dave Pollino? Well in that case, you should thank him when you see him!
DRIVER: You bet Officer, I will do exactly that!
I stand there in awkward silence until the driver chimes in and says can I help you?
OFFICER: Just waiting for my thanks.
DRIVER: I don't understand!
OFFICER: Can you read, ma'am? Can you read my name tag out loud?
DRIVER: Officer! Sgt. David Pollino!
OFFICER: Ma'am, since we are such good friends and all, and you were going to thank me, I was just waiting for my thanks. — David Pollino

http://ems.pgpic.com/4.gif"Oh I thought the sign I 95 meant the speed limit ...glad you didn't catch me over on SR 210 earlier.." — Andy Young

http://ems.pgpic.com/5.gif"I wasn't speeding, I just got a haircut and it makes me look fast." — Timber Bear

http://ems.pgpic.com/6.gifIt snowed 6-inches and I radar a car driving 54 in a 30. Stopped her and she very matter-of-fact told me, "Duh, I know I was going fast, I was trying to get the snow off my windshield so I could see where I'm going!!!!" — Rhonada Olson Sclavi

http://ems.pgpic.com/7.gifI checked a 17-year-old kid on I-71 near MP91 just south of Grove City, Ohio at 101 MPH. He was driving a gold Ford Explorer 2-door. When I told him I checked him at 101, he threw a fit and wanted to argue with me, saying he was only doing 85 MPH. Me, being the curious cop, asked him why he thought he was only going 85 and his response was "my speedometer only goes to 85 and I had my gas pushed all the way to the floor." — Darwin Justice

http://ems.pgpic.com/8.gifOne of my cop friends told me a story: he pulled over a couple for speeding, asked why the driver (male) was speeding. The male said his wife (the passenger) was pregnant and they were going to the hospital. The officer said that was fine (even though he knew the truth) and followed them to the hospital to "make sure everything went alright". When they got to the hospital, he escorted them in and made sure they got a room right away. Finally the male admitted to lying. The officer didnt write him up, figured the hospital bill would be enough. — Matt Mues

http://ems.pgpic.com/9.gif"My car has a recall on it for unexplained acceleration and I'm on my way to get it fixed!" — Paula Ulibarri

http://ems.pgpic.com/10.gif"I have a cold and when I cough, my foot mashes the pedal...." — John Aiello

http://ems.pgpic.com/11.gifI stopped a guy for doing 71 in a 50 because he wanted to get to McDonald's before the breakfast menu ended! — Brian Eugene Jones

http://ems.pgpic.com/12.gifI had someone tell me that he put too much oil in the engine of his vehicle, and he had to drive really fast to burn the extra roll out. — David Cox

http://ems.pgpic.com/13.gifI was told by a lady her accelerator was broken and it always went that fast, no matter what — Eric Mosso

You're free to go, this time...

http://ems.pgpic.com/14.gifPulled over a Corvette doing 100 in 55zone. Late at night on highway, no traffic. I told the driver, "You were flying, unless you have a pilot’s license, you are going to jail". Yes, he handed me a pilot license...yes, I let him go. — Chuck Ervin

http://ems.pgpic.com/15.gifI stopped a lady who was crying when I walked up. I asked what the problem was. She said she had gone shopping for the first time after having a baby and nothing fit right. I handed her her license back and slowly backed away. Nothing good was coming from this! — Cookie Crumbles

http://ems.pgpic.com/16.gif"I was just keeping the 2 second buffer time between me and the car behind me". "There was no one behind you..." "Good job, huh?" — Scott Mainardy

http://ems.pgpic.com/17.gif"The box says 'If you have an erection over 4 hours, see your doctor IMMEDIATELY!'" — Scott Tyler

http://ems.pgpic.com/18.gif"I wasn't speeding, I was qualifying." — Aaron Roberts

http://ems.pgpic.com/19.gifA 17-year-old was going 23 over. When I asked him why he was going so fast, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Because I'm just all kinds of stupid". -— Billy Graves

http://ems.pgpic.com/20.gifI got tagged for doing 54 in a 45 years back. The officer laughed when he told me and I said that my dyslexia was acting up again. —​ Scott Russell

[tut0r]

Last one is the best, haha

[cram_it_frog]

I hate to say it but it has been 40 years since my last speading fine

I got to 11 demerits when I was 19 and I slowed down and became more observant.

I work out in Perth where I used to live cops had there favorite stops to put radar traps


but I can say I have been lucky as well

I was going up to Tibooburra in a mates ute now this is the milddle of no where and yes some traffic cops from Dubbo came to Broken Hill as part of a traffic blitz on bull bars and roadworthy cars

good old CB radio came on watch out cop was sitting just off the road

sure enough there he was sitting there

[FPV+fteT3]

Reason for speeding,

Sorry officer I have to get home quickly before my wife
Why do you need to get there before your wife?
Are you married officer?
(Answer does not really matter)
Well you see my girlfriend is already at home waiting for me and my wife has just called to say she will be home 4 hours early due to problems at work... if she arrives before me thats when the fight will start and your work load will escolate really quickly do you want to see that happen?
Aahhh so you are married and can see the problem... yes officer my wife can go from zero to ***** in less than a nano second this would tip her over the edge and there are too many weapons in our kitchen. Any chance of a police escort?

[Tonz]

My ute has custom (gilflite box) on back. Pulled over recently at Pt Wakefield for std checks, "whats in the back?" he asks
"dead bodies" replies I (own a pet cremation business)
suddenly theres cops everywhere some ready to shoot.
"open it up" he says....."der what the 'ell.... thought you said dead bodies"
"yes sir I did... thats why Ive got them."
poor bugger got the crap bagged out of him by the others, and waved on my way.

[wicksy]

i overtook a car that was giving me the *****, going from 80-100 then everywhere between one day, overtaking lane come up went around the car, nek minnut party lights turns out that car i overtook was an unmarked cop car.
He asked why i was doing 120 in a 100 zone.
turned around and told him that he was stuffing around chopping and changing speeds all the time and i was getting the *****, he shrugged me off then goes why the 120 while overtaking, he didnt like it when i told what am i suppose to do 100km while overtaking becuse thats real smart when you want to get around someone before the end of the overatking lane

[GasoLane]

No one is safe from the tricky speed squad

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/no-...31522c2940a64d

[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by GasOLane

No one is safe from the tricky speed squad

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/no-...31522c2940a64d

Hide yo kids

Hide yo wife