TORN: A Short Story

[Jokers Wild]

A short story to help no one but myself to try and underatand lifes twists n turns and if you know of some one in a similar boat, help them before more families are torn apart.

Looking back over many years it is only now clear what has been happening in front of my eyes but never noticed.

I have always earnt very good money and never understood why i was not further ahead, then going back a few years i was rudley awakened by people ringing and wanting payment for thier services products, money i had paid or thought to have paid.

After some drawn out searchig my wife claimed that she did not pay these bills and had paid other bills with the money, now not knowing or being able to really verify past happenings, my response was light, and ok here's the money and sorry for any mixup.

12 months ago the same thing again but for more money for masses of unpaid bills, and once again, with no real attempt to go back and dig into things i got the same similar response from my wife, and once again i paid all of the moneys ( in the 10's of thousands ).

Then 6 months ago i had the walls crashing for the same thing again, now third time around i cracked a bit of the wobbly's, got to the bottom of the mess and it came out ( so it was put to me ) that round 2 she did not tell me all of the outstandings, she claimed she was to scared to.

So here in round 3 ( now again closer to 20K this time ) i got all marbles on the table, balanced all books, had the tears from the wife and all of the promises to go with it.

I then each week like religion not only paid all of the money back but personally monitered the budget and assigned money for each bill and included all other aspects into this.

In that i had repaid all bills again, had everything squared away, and finally getting back onto our feet, then the phone rings today and the voice said to me " Where is our Money"

Same ol same ol, when i questioned my wife on where the money has gone this time she claims to have only paid the bills ( that i had budgeted for ) and tells me she spent some extra money on shopping ( claimed to be around $150 extra a week ).

Now even with this there is around min $500 + a week gone missing (totals thousands again) but she can in no way tell me where it's gone but just gone, so once again i am in the spot of fixing all of this up again.

Yes i am leaving my wife this time as i can not justify being lied to in a relationship, nor can i continue to fork out big $ each time.

Some of you my say your a fool, and yes i may be but on the line was over 20 years of marriage, 2 children my whole life and you allow for mess up's along the way.

This all now gone with that one phone call this afternoon, so if you know of anyone in this boat please tell them to consider the outcome, my children are devestated, i am torn inside and cut deep and am now truelly sad and feel totally lost.

Being a surviver i will come through this, and call me old school i will pay this round of debts out again, i will continue to pay for my familys home 100%, i will pay for thier car , i will still pay all hosehold bills they incure as i will not have some one say i left them high n dry, just now i will do all of that from another location.

I will not also say a bad word in my wifes name nor do i expect any one else to, she has her issues to sort and her life to continue along with facing the reality of her actions.

So if you know of this and can help one family stay together at least give it shot, before their family is also TORN.

JW

For those that know my other user ID apreciated if was kept private.

[Bucket]

My condolences mate..i can't begin to imagine what you are going through...
I'm just glad i ended it with my girlfriend who had honesty issues before it was too late

[4.9 EF Futura]

Originally Posted by Jokers Wild

i will continue to pay for my familys home 100%, i will pay for thier car , i will still pay all hosehold bills they incure as i will not have some one say i left them high n dry, just now i will do all of that from another location.

I will not also say a bad word in my wifes name nor do i expect any one else to, she has her issues to sort and her life to continue along with facing the reality of her actions.

You're a hell of a guy mate.

That's an awful story. Must have been some hardcore bills - loan repayments or store cards or something???

[brenx]

I can sympathise with you there JW. Your story sounds almost identical to mine. I no longer have any equity in my current home and are considering other financial options.

If I put $20 in my wallet on the 1st of every month. It should still be there when I want/need it, whether it be 2 days or 20 days later. It never is, yet I never spend it. My wife on the other hand can't keep $20 in he purse for 5mins.

I've left once already. Damage to the kids was done. It's not nice. Personally I wouldn't want my children to experience that again if possible. I came back due to the issues being resolved. Sold the family home made of bunch of money blah blah. It's been 3 years and now I'm in take 2 of the very same situation but the family home can't be sold for enough to pay out the mortage, let alone any profit.

[banarcus]

Bad news mate, once trust has been busted over and over it is very hard to rebuild it and to your credit, no one can knock you for giving it your all. Busted relationships are the root of how our society is heading so until your missus confronts her addictions and betrayal, she will be just continue to run your wallet dry. She needs help and no doubt will be hurting as much as you now. I really do hope it goes well JW.

[EA2BA]

I thought my my parents in law was not a common story, but it seems it is, other issues as well were involved, but same deal at the end of the day.

Easy to stay, hard to leave, but at the end of the day no one wants to have to treat the other half like just another kid, thats not what marriage is about.

[OLDFORDNUT]

my mother in law does up houses for profit and were getting quite wealthy until they made gambling legal in Victoria, one year on from Crown opening they had the house they were in and no cash left in bank,husband finally woke up after being a ***** to any of the family who tried to warn him she was addicted to gambling,
unfortunatly we dont speak to them anymore as his treatment of us for trying to help was apalling, i have no sympathy whatsoever for my father in law,
i hope you handle things different than my inlaws,
good luck in your next journey but remember before you get angry with others you had all the warning signs so cant blame others.

[photn]

dude thats a trajic story and i sympathise with you. it is a good warning for the young ones like me. a good lesson to learn about honesty and your loved ones. i just hope as i grow older and settle down my spending habbits will aslo settle down.

I hopw all works out in the end and there is as little heart break as there needs to be.