serious sh*t

[Sparkplug]

Hey folks-

Well, it’s been yet another dramatic and nearly tragic day at our household.

While out back doing some yardwork with my wife, our pug puppy, Hero and our cat, Trouble, I had a hard time starting the mower, and went back to the garage to get a big Philips screwdriver to loosen some screws and have a look. Upon my return, I was walking over to the mower, when my wife screamed. I turned around to see Hero, nearly wrapped to his tail by a huge python. I screamed a stream of black, blasphemous obscenities, and tore across the yard to him. I began stabbing at the snake with the screwdriver, unsure how to strike it without hitting Hero.

I screamed at my wife to get me a shovel. After about 5-6 seconds, the snake had Hero nearly totally wrapped-up. I was frantic, grabbed a big coil of it and stabbed it through with the huge Phillips. Blood flinging across the patio, the snake finally let go, and I was able to pull it off of Hero, flinging it over my shoulder to the patio. At this point, I realized how big it was – approximately 8” long.

My wife appeared immediately at my side and handed me a shovel. With the screwdriver sticking out the side of it, the snake was still pretty ****ed off, and started around to come at me, at which point, I hammered it on the head with the flat of the shovel. I yelled at Diana to get Hero, who was now tottering around the patio, coming near the snake. Then I whacked the snake’s head off with the shovel.

Diana ran inside with Hero, called the vet, and we were there within 5 minutes. Hero was bleeding from his head and mouth, where the python had struck and grasped him. His heart rate was very high and his breathing labored, but he was ok. The vet sedated him, gave him an anti-inflammatory and asked us to leave him for the night, to be sure he didn’t have any cracked ribs or anything. We’re picking him up in the morning.

My wife and I came home, drank two bottles of wine, talked about snakes, emergencies, battle and life and are now off to bed.

Thanks to my Dad, for teaching me how to kill snakes, and how to react quickly in an emergency. The only thing going through my mind was “There’s no way in HELL this f'ing snake is gonna take my little buddy Hero, if I have to rip it apart with my bare hands!” I also am fortunate enough to have a wife who can handle herself in an emergency. Hero’s fine, the snake is dead as hell, and this is one battle going to the Sparkplugs.

People, keep your yards clear of clutter and watch yourselves out there! This happened in Seventeen Mile Rocks, 15 mins SW of Brisbane CBD.

Pics below. Sorry if you're a big fan of snakes.