what sort of woman do you want (joke/truth)

KEV EB XR8 · 26-09-2005, 12:58 PM

sounds like your first sexual experience
you were scared , you were cold , you were frightend , and on your bloody own !

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I
decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In university I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and
threatened suicide.
So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became
so
dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She
did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was
great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.

So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her.
She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

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big_waity · 26-09-2005, 01:15 PM

That's brilliant. As a man who married a beautiful woman almost 3 years ago, I will tell you this now. Marry an ugly woman who can cook, rather thana goo looking woman who can't. A good looking woman who can't cook, will never learn how but will one day become ugly. An ugly woman who can cook will always be ugly but won't forget how to cook. (My wife doesn't read these forums he he he)

XR8GRL · 26-09-2005, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big_waity

That's brilliant. As a man who married a beautiful woman almost 3 years ago, I will tell you this now. Marry an ugly woman who can cook, rather thana goo looking woman who can't. A good looking woman who can't cook, will never learn how but will one day become ugly. An ugly woman who can cook will always be ugly but won't forget how to cook. (My wife doesn't read these forums he he he)

Reading that, I'm surprised you are married.

26-09-2005, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HERXR8

Reading that, I'm surprised you are married.

Me too!!!! I do hope his beautiful wife knows how lucky she is.

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vino3o2 · 26-09-2005, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big_waity

That's brilliant. As a man who married a beautiful woman almost 3 years ago, I will tell you this now. Marry an ugly woman who can cook, rather thana goo looking woman who can't. A good looking woman who can't cook, will never learn how but will one day become ugly. An ugly woman who can cook will always be ugly but won't forget how to cook. (My wife doesn't read these forums he he he)

Not very nice but hey... cracked me up

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bindi · 26-09-2005, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big_waity

That's brilliant. As a man who married a beautiful woman almost 3 years ago, I will tell you this now. Marry an ugly woman who can cook, rather thana goo looking woman who can't. A good looking woman who can't cook, will never learn how but will one day become ugly. An ugly woman who can cook will always be ugly but won't forget how to cook. (My wife doesn't read these forums he he he)

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

KEV EB XR8 · 26-09-2005, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

bugger , theres a few of them on here

b2tf · 26-09-2005, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

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Mrs347stroker · 26-09-2005, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

I second that... right on Bindi!!!

4.9 EF Futura · 26-09-2005, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

Looks like big waity in the aff dog house. Signature worthy stuff there bindi, lol.

ing_sm

jabba · 26-09-2005, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

OUCH!

MrSparkle · 26-09-2005, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

Can't you just FEEEEEEEEEEEL the love in here!

:

py:

That first post is pretty damn accurate though, albeit missing the "psycho from hell dressed as a well educated and adjusted career woman", who I can tell you all a bit about. :togo:

MITCHAY · 27-09-2005, 07:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSparkle

That first post is pretty damn accurate though, albeit missing the "psycho from hell dressed as a well educated and adjusted career woman", who I can tell you all a bit about. :togo:

Aint that the truth. Some chicks look normal as anything but start getting into them and they are crazy as hell. And then they dont f**k off when you want them to.

Man i regret ever meeting that chick.

Des · 27-09-2005, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MITCHAY

Aint that the truth. Some chicks look normal as anything but start getting into them and they are crazy as hell. And then they dont f**k off when you want them to.

Man i regret ever meeting that chick.

I see both you guys have met my ex-wife!

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klawsterfobik · 26-09-2005, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

Care to be more specific?

Im not sexist, ill let my girlfriend cook, and mow the lawns

Jokes, its all in jest. It does say its a joke in the thread title.

XR8GRL · 26-09-2005, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klawsterfobik

Im not sexist, ill let my girlfriend cook, and mow the lawns

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GreenMachine · 26-09-2005, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Cook for yourself you selfcentred sexist arrogant pig.

Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?

Reason 187 for marrying ugly girls: They'll do ANYTHING!

Mustang Dave · 26-09-2005, 09:20 PM

This is easy...........One that does not talk, speak unless spoken to,has little respect for herself to the point that she does not care what you do to her sexualy.

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Des · 26-09-2005, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big_waity

That's brilliant. As a man who married a beautiful woman almost 3 years ago, I will tell you this now. Marry an ugly woman who can cook, rather thana goo looking woman who can't. A good looking woman who can't cook, will never learn how but will one day become ugly. An ugly woman who can cook will always be ugly but won't forget how to cook. (My wife doesn't read these forums he he he)

:hihi: :hihi:
Tell it like it is son!!
:hihi: :hihi:

masters24 · 26-09-2005, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by big_waity

That's brilliant. As a man who married a beautiful woman almost 3 years ago, I will tell you this now. Marry an ugly woman who can cook, rather thana goo looking woman who can't. A good looking woman who can't cook, will never learn how but will one day become ugly. An ugly woman who can cook will always be ugly but won't forget how to cook. (My wife doesn't read these forums he he he)

Waity, Waity, Waity... you will never learn will ya!
Mandy is a top chick... You know that if you say anything too bad on here i can open my trap to her (although i won't cos that ignores the laws of bein a fellow ford fan) :dr_Evil:

megsy · 26-09-2005, 04:00 PM

all In favor........Motion Carried...

SunDrifter · 26-09-2005, 04:11 PM

all apposed - aye!

Keep looking, find a beautiful woman that can cook.

bindi · 26-09-2005, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunDrifter

all apposed - aye!

Keep looking, find a beautiful woman that can cook.

You do realise you are about to be killed by angry ffau women, right?

Psycho Chicken · 26-09-2005, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunDrifter

all apposed - aye!

Keep looking, find a beautiful woman that can cook.

Or better yet, a beautiful woman who will buy you KFC.

I've got a keeper I tells ya!

bindi · 26-09-2005, 07:57 PM

Late last year I had a VERY small party organised for Christmas. My girlfriend and I organised that since I had a work party to attend, she would bring over supplies. Also, as she was going to the UK in the New Year, she decided she would give us all her booze out of her Bar (no point in storing it).

She walked into the house to two eager men... in her car she was carrying pizzas, booze, a tail book, all the mixers/softdrinks/fruits etc, chocolate, icecream, more junk food... and wearing a very cute little mini skirt.

The men fell in love with her in 2.5 seconds flat.

4.9 EF Futura · 27-09-2005, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Late last year I had a VERY small party organised for Christmas. My girlfriend and I organised that since I had a work party to attend, she would bring over supplies. Also, as she was going to the UK in the New Year, she decided she would give us all her booze out of her Bar (no point in storing it).

She walked into the house to two eager men... in her car she was carrying pizzas, booze, a tail book, all the mixers/softdrinks/fruits etc, chocolate, icecream, more junk food... and wearing a very cute little mini skirt.

The men fell in love with her in 2.5 seconds flat.

Yes, alcohol does severely hamper our reaction times.

Cant leave without throwin in a joke...

So why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care :the_finge

hrtrip · 27-09-2005, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

So why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care :the_finge

ha ha funniest one so far. my turn...

why do women wear make up and perfume?

cos they are ugly and they stink.

why are woman generally shorter than men?

so they are closer to the sink.

HRT R.I.P

XR8GRL · 27-09-2005, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

So why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we care :the_finge

Well men should care if women have to 'fake' it with them, obviously they can't cut it in the sack

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conordec · 26-09-2005, 04:16 PM

Build a bridge, and cook me some eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just joking...

I'm a chef, so i cook.
She cleans....

I work 60+ hrs per week,
She does 35... and house work... so all's fair.

I'm happy with the one i've got, but have been buuuuuuuuuuurnt before!!!!

;)

Mick

deesun · 26-09-2005, 05:32 PM

Your wife may not read these forums but thats not to say she won'tfind out what you just said.

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